As I quickly sail through my forties, I am starting to do a little internal freak out. I am not a young mommy anymore, or a cute little florist/housewife. My new identity is much harder for me to grasp. Who am I? I didn’t ever want to be one of the “old girls” on the block, and yet in spite of my diligent efforts it’s happening anyway.
My feelings of doubt or inadequacy usually occur late at night when I am researching on the Internet or when I’m holding my favorite wedding magazines. The wedding industry has a little sub culture of mini famous designers or professionals and all of the upcoming stars are very young and very cute. It’s a weird little phenomena and thankfully only us wedding vendors know it exists. Quite honestly the rest of the world has no idea, nor do they really care about the popular crowd in the wedding industry. Thankfully clients choose their wedding vendors based on merit, and that I have a ton of. Social media has become a huge popularity contest and I will truthfully say I was never in the popular crowd, so here in my forties, I often feel like I have been orbited back into high school. I am sure that I should not divulge all of these feelings in an open forum, as most business owners would never put these feelings out in the open. However, what I am feeling is real, and its something I am learning to deal with everyday. Thankfully, as I went to bed last night, I realized something very important. I am the one, the only one I know, that has handled thousands of brides, lasted 20 years in this very draining industry, delivered and raised 7 kids in the midst of busy wedding seasons, learned to blog, handles my own marketing and social media, the one that started a group for wedding designers, the one that tries to help other upcoming designers, the one that returns emails to others who need help, I am the one that is Kicking a_ _. So in spite of my age and my less then cute appearance, I am the one. Today I am going to enjoy being forty something!!!
you are a beautiful, talented, wife, mother, sister, daughter,friend and floral designer!
I think you are cute and beautiful inside and out! Love you. xoxo
Go kick some butt!!! You are great at what you do, and we certainly love you for being you.
holly you are such an inspiration to me as a young woman! i love your family life, i love the way you do business – you have it all. you and evan have really created a special life together. paul and i are so happy for you to do our wedding not only because of your talent but because you and your family are a model of what we are looking for in our life together. you’ve reached a point where you don’t need to worry about whether you are one of the young cute girls (although you still are!) – your life and your work speaks for itself, and i wouldn’t doubt that all of the young girls are thinking “i want what she has” – i know i am 🙂
That just made me cry!!!
Holly, that is a fantastic photo of you. You look and are amazing.
Favorite post yet!
Being one of the new kids on the block it’s so refreshing to know that even the best of the best still battle that little voice of insecurity sometimes.
Screw the cool crowd! Remember, high school sucked!?
Your ass kicking, enthusiasm, drive and perseverance are so damn inspiring!
p.s. great photo!
You are kicking a- – and you deserve it !!! I’m so grateful to have met you and you continue to inspire me to work and learn more. Some day I will make the leap and I know your support and encouragement will be there wherever I land! Thank you
Holly- YOU inspire me! There are times I read your posts and wonder how you juggle it all- beautiful family, beautiful work and beautiful you. I cannot express my thanks to you enough for the support, encouragement, and kind words- HOLLY ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holly – I am so grateful that you share your heart with us. You are beautiful, adorable, hard-working, and real! The “realness” is such a great asset and an extra attractive quality to those of us that watch in awe at what you have created in terms of your faith, marriage, home life, and business. Thank you for pursuing your dreams and visions…as you achieve through hard work and perseverance, we see it is possible and follow.
Hi Holly-We haven’t met in person but I follow your blog and you are such an inspiration to me. I am five years into my own wedding floral business in Bel Air, MD. Love your work! Thank you!
Hey! From our backyard, we think you’re popular and awesome. Every time I hear you mentioned, it’s always with a .. “oh I would love to work with her..” “oh such and such got a to do a wedding with her…” “oh.. I love her work!” So – just one word from a small time make-up artist in c’ville.. but though I would let you know. xoxo
I have some of the same feelings as a young designer. You are very inspiring how you juggle all that you do, put out beautiful designs and have thrilled clients. I’m very grateful for the advice you gave me earlier this week. I can admit we young designers whether self taught or formally trained don’t know it all and we need to be humble enough to ask for help! Thanks Holly!
You are so wonderful Holly! As a fellow LoCo lady, I thank you SO much for introducing social media to many business people in our area.
Holly, not only did it take courage to write that post, it takes courage to follow a passion with conviction and you are a shining example of someone who can do both flawlessly. I respect and admire you as a mother, wife, designer and most importantly as a person. P.S. tell your 40’s to pound sand ;o)
You Go Girl ! Smart brides aren’t looking to their vendors to be their new BFF, the smart ones look for experienced professionals who can perfectly execute their wedding wishes. You are one of the seasoned and proven wedding floral decorators in our area and that talent will always prevail. So we will keep our head down, continue to work hard, and watch the others come and go.
Holly, your blog is one of my greatest sources of inspiration. I find you and your family to be quite amazing. I have had a lifelong passion for flowers and have done them for many years for family and friends. A strange twist of fate has turned that passion into a second career. I had been following your blog since it began and thought more and more about trying to start a home based floral design business. I did a wedding for a family friend. After I loaded all of my work up I looked in that van and thought I can do this. The following week I was told my job was being terminated. To make a much longer story short I have entered this crazy wonderful world of wedding and special event flowers at 54. You look very young and cute! Keep on inspiring others. You are the best!
Holly, I have visited your site many times in the last couple of years, but I’ve never commented on any of your posts until this one. You are so talented! It’s not about age, I don’t think. It’s about having a great eye, and lots of style, and of course, the ability/talent that you have. I do wonder at times if brides will consider my age. (I’m 62 and just started doing wedding flowers 5 years ago after a long career in the non-profit world.) I just have to think that style and attitude are the important things. Energy helps too, and you have no shortage there!!!! You amaze me! I trained with Ariella Chezar as well, and think that if one is always questioning, challenging oneself and growing, age doesn’t matter . You are adorable, by the way!!!
Hi Holly, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this, as difficult as that might be. I don’t mean to say that I’m glad you’ve felt insecure at times, but feeling that way so many times myself, it is reassuring to hear it from someone like you! I follow your blog, and so admire your fabulous work, your style, and your ability to “do it all”. I don’t have children (yet), sometimes feel overwhelmed by running my own business and trying to keep the rest of my life together, and I often wonder if I could ever manage a family as well. But, I look at you and think “wow, it can be done”. From what I can see, if there were a popularity contest, you would win it! Thanks for being so encouraging to other deisgners (of all ages). Hope I get to meet you sometime.
I’m very glad you decided to put your feelings in an open forum. I struggle with the popularity contest of social media daily (also never having been in the popular crowd). I turned just turned 39 and have been a florist for 18 years, 14 of which have focused on weddings. I just hope that my love of this world we are in shine through in photos like yours does. I have yet to see a photo of you or your work where your joy and passion for what you do isn’t present. Thank you for sharing!
You go girl!
You are an inspiration for all of just starting out in the trade and you should be very, very proud of yourself xx
“not a cute little florist/housewife” Uuhmmm…..first of all, check your mirror…you are BEAUTIFUL!! Secondly, I don’t like “young” professionals vs. someone with a lot of experience. My mom had a freak out when she turned 50 ( she’s a realtor) and I told her “why would anyone in their right mind trust the biggest purchase of their life- a home – in the hands of someone with little to no experience!?!” Weddings are the same way. Your value isn’t in how young you look!! It’s in your experience, your eyes, your hands, your heart. Women need to start sticking together, rip up the fashion magazines that force us to try and aspire to a bizarre standard NONE of us meet ( I’m sorry- No one’s Ass points UP!!!) and start validating people who are the real deal. You my dear, are the real deal. You are the TOTAL PACKAGE. Dont forget that!!
Holly.. Heartfelt post… You are all you say and an original … From what I kow about you and have learnt by reading your blog since we met in Belgium that you have a huge heart the capacity to look see love and listen and in your profession where you sit on a mountain of experience and suucess and have the courage to do new things…try experiment , let your gurad down, be real … All this is applaudable and your new
direction in life at home in the garden with your idea to teach tutor and guide wil be a sparkling stride into a new world…. Fresh horizons more joy….Oh tbe 40 plus and do lilkewise !
Isabel out of Belgium and on the East Coast for a couple of months!
Isabel,
I LOVE YOU!!!! I am so grateful for the time I had with you in Belgium. You are one of the reasons I am pushing and striving for more!!
Your life here on the blog world is what makes me want to become a florist and my husband, a grower. We have a lot to learn. We really appreciate you putting yourself out there. You are so very talented and “hip”. I would love to visit you and your farm some day.
wooo woo apologies for chronic spelling mistakes..shame on myself Isabel..Holy Hooly you will bring a new breath of frsh air into the Flower World ….you are honest, generous and authentic and want to open your creativty and that of others..what more does the Industry want?Gudrun and I are right behind you !
Holly, you have the balz to say things that I wish I had the same to say… it cracks me up. And, it’s like you took a piece of my thoughts and laid it out there. You’re a kick a– designer, a great teacher, and a ton of fun to be around…that’s why people love working with you.
I’m always surprised when some one as good and experienced as you, ever has any doubt. I’m sure from time to time, we all feel the same way….even the young newbies. 🙂
I feel so fortunate and honored to be a Chapel Designer. You and this group have really changed the way I do business as well as my outlook on being able to last for the long haul.