As our own family gets closer and closer to the day my son will marry (we are one week out), I am finding that I am getting overly emotional. This is great because it gives me a really new understanding of what planning a wedding feels like from the other side or the emotional side. Of course everyone worries about the details and if everything will get done. That is the item everyone knows to worry about. I now wonder though how many wedding vendors or family members really consider how emotional this is all going to get. I can barely make a decision without thinking of its significance, and once I truly internalize the significance of each thing, I get super emotional. I have always had a lot of patience with my clients because I understand that they have never done this before. It’s a lot of work to try and organize and plan a wedding. However I have never really thought to give them an extra dose of patience just because they are under emotional stress. Sure its crossed my mind that peoples emotions are running high, but I have never actually really thought about what it feels like to be a MOB, or even one of today’s brides.
Because I am an event designer, I know not to worry about all of the design stuff. Our studio will get it all done because that is what we do, for me right now its the emotions that are killing me. Realizing that my son will belong to someone else, imagining that my little boy is taking his vows simply makes me cry, add to that seeing my other son be a best man, my daughters be bridesmaids, my baby boys be ring bearers, and then my little girl be a flower girl. Its like a sentimental over load. I think I have shared that I cry a lot, I mean it, I’m serious, I cry a lot. Like nothing you have ever seen before. Tears just fly out of me and there is no off switch. I guess I should be embarrassed about this, but its something I have just accepted about me, its like the color of my hair, or my eyes. I was born with the water works!!!
My husband asked me today, why can’t you just be happy, he asked this when he saw me crying. My crying is in no way an indication of my happiness or lack there of. My crying is a direct result of feeling so much. I simply can’t stop feeling, so I can’t stop crying. I can clearly see my face on the wedding day contorted up with tears running down my face, sorta like it looks right now. Poor photographer Genevieve Leiper, she will be unable to catch one non crying moment of me. I am also thinking of the joy I will feel when I see my sisters, their kids, MY AUNTS, my uncles, my cousins, and mine and Evan’s parents. Time is precious and this chance to be together is very special. I wish I could shove our entire family in a room together, lock the door and throw away the key. There are too few days in our life when all of our loved ones are with us. This is why a wedding is truly special!!!!!
Wish me luck as I try and get my emotions in check, and the final details under control.